SWINE!!!

Okay, there's been a lot of drama lately, which is why I haven't been posting. If you are easily bored, please skip to the next paragraph. I'll be really quick with this update part, and get onto the juicy-like-the-inside-of-a-juicebox part soon. First of all, I've hit 350 pages with EC:NW! Font changes rock my world. (They should rock yours too, mind slaves!) Second, I found this really great forum on FP-Break Writer's Block (it actually prevents me from writing, but whatever). Third, my mom finally gave Kim (is that her code name?) from carpool a good lecturing. (Thank you, parental unit!) However, none of this news, super exciting as it is, can overshadow what happened next: (dundundunduh!) SWINE FLU!!!

Yes yes, I understand the insane panic that has been brought on by the creepily smiling and caffeine crazed media is only slightly entertaining, and that the needless freakouts of millions are actually quite tragic, and that it was all a plot by the news to make money (well, not that last one, but you need some conspiracy theory soup to get through the day...well, I do...you really don't?). But here's the thing" SWINE FLU SETS ME OFF  MORE THAN IF I WERE A COW AND FARMER BOB GOT THE BRIGHT IDEA OF SPREADING FOOD ON THE ELECTRIC FENCE! Yes, that upset, including the capitals. 

Here's why:

Recently, rumors have been flying around that my school, which has had record absences recently,  has had "over twenty" cases of ole H1N1. I knew that (duuuuuh) this was a HUGE exaggeration, but we got cute little nicknames, like Flu-y-ville, so I let it slide and basked in the panic. (twisted little demon, aren't I?) Then, we had the announcement. 

There I was, zoning out in homeroom, as usual, when the PA started up with it's usual annoying-yet-awesome random music (I think it was 'C is for Cookie', that day). I pricked up my ears, not wanting to miss anything important, like GASP another bake sale (I really think they should announce when we DON'T have a bake sale. We seriously have one every day, which is good, except when it's the Explorers club with their organic vegan [bleh] brownies) But instead, I heard a more serious announcement.

"Hey girls! TOday, we are going to have a special presentation by the health department!"

(How on earth could such a boring message be delivered with such pep? Answer: caffeine, just like the newscasters use.)

Amid the half groans of my prisonmates, I file out to the freshman lawn, where we were met by this miniscule lady from the health department. Seriously, this woman was more than petite. She had to stand on a bench so we could see, and she was wearing 5 inch heels! Anyway, after a little introduction, where she acted like we were three and asked if we knew what germ were (itty bitty buggy thingies that make you feel sick(y?), apparently) Then, she cut to the chase, we had swine at school!

The noise was deafening. There were most people, asking panicked questions or screaming, and the freaks like me, who cheered. (This means 14 days out of school! ) BEfore you call me evil, understand that I knew that the swine flu wasn't much worse than the regular flu, because I had this gadget called the internet, with which I had looked up this amazing invention called 'scientific research'. So, I knew we shouldn't worry, but I was counting on panicpower to give us a little time off. 

Then, she dropped the bombshell: we weren't getting off school. This was such a disappointment that I barely had time to relish the screams of terror emitting from my shocked classmates. WHAT!?! Why couldn't they shut down school, THEN figure out swine wasn't too bad? WHY WHY WHY? Gosh, that darn health department does things just to annoy me. AFter that, I endured a lecture on coughing, then went back to class. D; 

The light in the storm: one of the most annoying teachers freaked out and won't be back until next week! AND I only have 14  schooldays until finals!!! (Which I actually enjoy taking)

Until next time, stay swine free and gorgeous, mind slaves!